This Time

First time,
Second time,
Third time..
Fourth.
Why so many times have I heard this shit before?
Talking bout your great, your amazing.
But you just not the one for me.
The first: compliment
Second time: confused.
Third time: i felt like knocking him out of his shoes.
Fourth time though:this time was different.
Because after hearing it so many times
Not only is it my mentality,
But i know that he meant it.
I will never be the one.
I will never be enough.
There will always be a replacement.
There is nothing special about my touch,
my personality.
me.
So instead I guard my heart
A little more than I did before.
Add you to the list of guys that couldnt possibly hurt me more.
I fight the undying desire for old habits to surface.
Praying for the Lord to deliver me.
To offer me solace.
'never regret anything that once made you smile'
So i refuse to let you become a regret.
Because its just not my style.
Maybe one day you'll resurface into my present.
But for now im guarded.
More than before.
Unable to focus.
Too damn sore.


November 8, 2008