Untitled

Swollen eyes stuck to cotton sheets
As she cried herself to sleep
Yet another night.
With the setting of the sun,
Comes another song,
Unsung.
Hoping that on the wings of angels
Her invisible words
Would become visible
To an invisible God.
It was an unwritten letter
To an unseen God
With unforgettable truths
And undeniable regrets.
Her life unreal.
She stands in front of the mirror
Unable to look into her unhappy eyes,
And it's understandable.
She as the woman she never wanted to be.
That girl too comfortable in foreign sheets
That never came close to being able to meet
Her standards.
She choked on regret as she blew her future for their artificial touch
They were her crutch she clutched
In order to ease her limp soul as she journeyed a journey towards a destination she was scared of.
Now, her actions constitute that of a prostitute.
As her body was exchanged for a currency not redeemable for change.
Banks won't give you smaller bills for a counterfeit.
Just like her heart knew that lust would not fit int the parameters of love,
It just doesn't add up.
So she stayed in constant debt.
Feeding into his vicious cycle
Where his neglect was her pimp.
And maybe if she turned enough tricks
She could pay off him
And pretend that he didn't exist.
But her debt was compounded with an interest too big
To dig
Herself out of this predicament.
So she was forced to endure
As empty promises were pushed right through her.
Moaning in agony as her innocence
Was used to pay a debt that was his.
See he had spent his life savings saving face
So he wouldn't have to face the one face that looks just like his
Mirror images
That is super-imposed upon each other
Would reveal DNA so strong that the only genes missed,
Were his height and habitual tendency to flee
Any source of responsibility
And his biggest source was she.
But his flight gene was the one she came to need
Because it just wasn't enough to plead
To be freed
Of a heart that would always bleed
In honor of his name.
Now all these years in to the game
He wants to reap what he had never sown
His seed he had never grown
Into the woman she needed to be.

Swollen eyes stuck to cotton sheets.
As she cried herself to sleep,
Yet another night.
With the setting of the sun came a song ready to be sung.
Written in a letter addressed to the one
She had carried a million ton of burdens for.

Dear Father,
I never really knew you.
But I looked for you.
Tried to fill your void, and even employed the theory of Freud
But those men too destroyed me.
I tried to pick up the pieces to make me whole again.
But then again I kept crashing into men that always left me broken.
Shattered too small to find me all,
And in the midst of searching for me,
I found you.
Lit with a hue so mesmorizing I couldn't look away.
But it didn't take long for your darkness to be brought into the light of day.
I searched so long for a love
You couldn't give,
All because you chose to live selfishly.
And I tried to transform my temples into timpanis
So I could beat it into my own brain,
That you and I are not one in the same.
You are just half of me.
And not the better half you see.
It's thanks to you that people can see right through me
And use me.
But it's the other half of me.
That keeps me firmly rooted in my captivity.
You and I are not one in the same.
See I have a dream.
And a heart so massive heart attacks can't stop it from taking in the world
So permanent residence it can keep.
Because I need it's company.
Sharing a piece of me so that world can make whole.
Sharing a piece of my so my world won't be so cold.
I lived a life in vain
Full of pain
I was so sure you could cure.
But it is funny how wrong a person can be
When they search for truth that wasn't meant to be set free.
I want you to know,
You did this to me.


Swollen eyes stuck to cotton sheets
As she cried herself to sleep
One last night.
After all of these years,
She had given up the fight.